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Double standards about ageing

My friend wanted advice about her younger guy crush. I said age gap was the least of her worries, like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth, and headed, a meeting I'd organised to avoid an epistolary friendship, which I find ambiguous if there is also age differences. Consistent with form, A said yes, and messaged me on the day, ten meetings early, to say the bookshop was closed but he was sitting nearby and would wait. I told him to keep hovering, and for politeness, exactly how far away I was, thinking of a beloved & tardy friend who says they are close even when they haven't left home, uncool of me, but very kind.  Like Clarissa Dalloway, I wondered if he would be as remembered. Fortunately, effort was visible: short sleeves, shorts, socks and lace up shoes, the country clerk look (Tom Long in Seachange, or James in Opal Dreams). We walked to Cinema Place, via a music shop where I bought a CD and tried and failed to interest him in vintage fashion, though his outfit belo...
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books books books

Right now I want to eat cake, a common feeling, but unfortunately have not motivation to bake a cake, also a common feeling. Maybe I'll eat some cheese instead and quince paste will appear in the fridge.  I've been reading lots of books, and the best insight came from Helen Hayward via the cook Ottolenghi (sure I've spelt that wrong), who told a rapt audience all you really need is 12 recipes. Take that! I can cook omelets, lasagna, bolognese pasta, cheesy pasta with broccoli, tacos, a lentil dish with or without rice, spanakopita, sausage rolls with grated carrots, spaghetti with peas and lemon, noodles and squid rings with stir fried vegies and option curry/coconut milk, schnitzels (bought/homemade), roast vegetables, and zucchini noodles. That's enough. I can also make chocolate pudding, apple crumble, banana ice-cream and fruit salad, so I feel that my repertoire of cooking is fine, all I need to do is refine my technique. Voila, home catering sorted. No need to mas...
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delightful

Today I took him to roller skating lessons, where he was recognised by older kids that remembered him from primary school; he joined the others on the rink and kept concentrating until he got better. I gave him a fixed amount of pocket money and watched him as he planned and delayed. He came up to me for hugs, held my hand, showed me his hand that was sore from falling. At school he's been showing interest in bird counting, 3d printing, all science related investigations, cartesian numbers. He reads, sometimes, and shares why he likes an author, or the characters. He is empathetic. When he felt reluctant about school, finding out there are orders waiting to be filled, for his lemon scented cleaning liquid, he found his focus. His teacher said she likes his quirky personality. He's been invited to birthday parties by nice children. 
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Day 22-calm, happy, energetic

 Recently a child I know pointed to their kimochi poster and identified they were calm, happy and energetic, which is how I feel too. It is the combination of being alcohol free, and recalling the advice from Yvie about self care (not cardio, not carbs, but strength training and protein and sleep, more sleep).  On Monday evening I returned to the pool and swam 1km, mostly kickboard but there was breast stroke and freestyle in there, and I felt myself moving faster, the longer I went. My legs felt it afterwards, it is 'old lady' movements in the morning, but I have borrowed the delightfully illustrated yoga for birds to try and work out a home routine that I can manage-five minutes is fine.  I've been trying to drink more water, and definitely drinking more tea, and also practicing delayed gratification with spending, to see if can find something cheaper, or go without, or wait until it's on sale. A lot of this is the effect of the company I am keeping-my supervisor is g...
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day 10

 Ten days ago I got the flu (the flu? A flu?) and used it as an opportunity to take a break from drinking. When I weighed myself, I'd lost 3kg without trying, so it's definitely worthwhile, plus I sleep better, have slightly less anxiety and I'm getting into tea drinking.  The kids are away in the country, and I've used the time to clean, deep clean, fall in love with a clean house. I sorted out my art desk, tidied up my writing desk enough to complete my passport application (done!), Mum visited and made a welcome contribution to the front and rear verandah, then Jess visited and helped clean my bathroom walls, admiring their blue colour. She, bless her, even cleaned the ceiling with her long netballer arms. To deserve a friend like Jess is something!  The next project is to paint the backing of a frame, in a duck egg blue variance, so I can frame the Laura Wills print I bought, and then await the hooks I bought, which allegedly could hold up to 7kg, and finish my loun...
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beautiful

On the inside and the out, implies soulfulness, in the eyes of the beholder. I've been looking at women approaching 50, to see how they are ageing, and there tends to be a story in there, as much about how they live. A woman alone is not lonely. She may divorce, lose jobs, go through therapy, have children, be childless, but she knows herself and when seasons change, she heads off on her own adventure.  I had an amusing experience, a story I don't yet know how to interpret. I joined a friend at The Drones, Mess Hall were the support act, last seen at the Annandale, females in the girl's bathroom, singing along mimic style, replicating Jed Kurzel, offspring of Polish migrant parents, long moved on from north of Adelaide. Whilst listening to them, I stood at stage left, recognizing someone from my past, which is to say once I knew them, by sight and by name, now he's a stranger. Dennis Lillee moustache and flannel shirt, half ironic and I wish I could place him, to place ...
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Dressing gown

 I did myself a favour and booked a few nights away as a staycation, although my youngest invited himself along too, which was cute. We practiced basketball together, teaching him one handed bounce catching, and did some water colour painting and headed down to the creek together, just like we did at gilberton section of parra wirra, a few years ago. I wish my children would reverse age.  Today I caught the tram into the city to watch my eldest sing with his choir, they've branched out from jazz, to chamber songs, so that was quite enjoyable, and although it was in a baptist church, they did have nice stained glass, so that was cool too. 
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