From a fashion first aid perspective, I need intervention, as today I committed to wearing tracky pants, in public, as a means to avoid the unflattering muffin effect, caused by wearing jeans. Sadly, age and lifestyle have caught up with my waist, and I'm going to have to do something, something, something.
Umm, what else. I had an amusing experience when I realised, belatedly, that a frenemy-someone I should get along with, from an intellectual and cultural and possibly even ethical perspective-suffers not only from smugness, but social insecurity. It's the latter that I'd missed. I had no idea they suffered so much from a need to be cool, given that they're well educated and attained tenure in a competitive field, thanks to be a brainy person that got scholarships and pursued something that yielded external validation of a kind I'd be happy with, but I suspect they take for granted. Good enough to fund home renovations and holidays, sounds good to me, but they also want to be cool.
I suspect the source of their difficulties is dating the same person since they were a teenager, which probably means a lack of comparison in the bedroom (slightly useful, even a sample of two helps), and also, that their kissing action hasn't diversified since they were a geek at boys school. That's the real tragedy, I think, because that's what I enjoyed most about my young adult days. Funny now, to realise how much passion can be involved in this gesture, and what it communicates, especially when it doesn't go any further (or much further). I wonder how people my age find kissing, if they end up back in the dating pool, with the only intel I have, from a friend, who pursued their first same sex relationship, in middle age, very slowly... I think it's sweet, and as much as I am for physical consummation, especially liberated from societal expectations about when and what and blah blah, I am also for purity of expression, which is what I liked about kissing. The way a guy could communicate so much with only lip contact, or how the least likely guy was an excellent kisser and the most anticipated pash, fell short. (Sorry Dave, aka final year architect, you were hot and funny but no chemistry).
This comes to mind since having made the acquaintance of a long ago kissing partner, who took it hard when it ended between us. There was a time when I was consumed by passion for him, but his sanctimonious ways, killed it. They say it's a city of churches, and it's an interesting concept, whether he had inherited ways of being that thwarted romance, but rewarded him later, as nowadays he's married to a well paid doctor and, allegedly, a smug greenie, which is a judgement I'd give to the frenemy. See where I'm going-how twenty something nerds, with conventional ways, eventually are rewarded, but where are the true originals?
My old classmate, Jono, is an original-also went through a stage of being self indulgent, but fortunately turned the corner, whilst still young and I don't think there's enough of that kind of person-he's curious about religions, but all religions-not a wowser, nor an atheist, can hold multiple strands at once, and will forever hold my gratitude for the time he sensed a flat earther conversation breaking out on my social media, and took on 'comment moderation' duties. Jono, thank you, from the ether (must email). There was a time when I found Jono compelling in a way that felt like a crush, but it was a cultural crush, a gratitude that someone was liberated enough to ignore conventions. It never occurred to me that young Jono was also annoying, or hard work, all I saw were his strengths, which came to fruition, thankfully.
Life is funny, and you have to validate yourself. Lately I've come to understand that being neurodivergent, as I suspect I am, means I'm not, professionally, going to fit into a box that is easily understood and rewarded, nor am I a savant that can program physics blah blah, that is rewarded without needing social skills. I have social and intellectual capacities that probably aren't well suited to conventional life, and I may have to be a pioneer. Interestingly, my old job, that I had aeons ago, in Hobart, has been advertised (as in many past and present incumbents have vacated) and it pays $50,000 more than my current role; almost enough to make me want to apply and move back, except for the fact that I'd have to master technical skills I have no investment in anymore, instead of using expertise that my life experience has developed since. Interesting, isn't it, what happens once you become selective.
What else is good? My educational institution, which merged, and adopted a learning platform that is a megolinth (Is that a word), predictably got hacked in a way that means I automatically have an extension for my next assignment! Woohoo (not for the hacking, thought, that's bad). I'm on placement at a nice place with nice people who like helping others (not always the case in healthcare, ironically), and I got an email from someone saying not only did they not mind me asking a question, BUT they had some resources they'd put on my desk. I love reciprocation and collegiality and making the world a better place, utopian as that sounds. Even nice, is that the lead person, is BIG about going home on time. Oh EM Gee.
My youngest is being amusing-he said he does guitar homework on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but not Thursdays (when we asked him to do practice), and that he only grates cheese for meals he's invested in eating (not for cheesey pasta, though later we busted him serving up a bowl), and the plethora of excuses are getting even more creative. Yesterday I dropped him off with his guitar on his back, and backpack on his front; this morning he took his bicycle to the cage, returned, still wearing his stack hat and happily sat indoors with friends, stack hat on; we did a test of independent cycling, which I've explained is not on the agenda yet due to other factors, but was good to simulate. You have to claim these victories, I find!
Comments