what's the most embarrassing thing that could happen
Had to go to the emergency department after spending night with bad pains wrapping around my abdomen and back. Had already self-diagnosed myself and knew I needed antiobiotics FAST. Didn't anticipate that I would have to describe holiday season's version of honeymooner's disease to o one male nurse, one female nurse and one intern. Who just happened to be The Most Attractive Man At My Work.
It is so humiliating wearing a hospital robe as it is, especially since they don't fit, the studs never do up where they're meant to and they droop open as you're walking to the bathroom to do the humiliating urine sample. I now realise that hospital workers spend every day humiliating people and that's why people hate hospitals! Why is it easier for staff to take your pulse, check your heart beat and prod you in the abdomen if you are wearing a spotty robe than your street clothes. Couldn't persuade the male nurse that I didn't need to change. Resolved to be much nicer and give patients more choices in the future, if I think that's what they want. Will not persecute patients who refuse to sit in the "right" chair or forget their appointment cards.
En route to the bathroom I'd spied the room where the interns and doctors gather waiting to be needed (oh yes, and the whole process was incredibly slow, not because there were many other patients at 7:30am on a weekday morning, besides a woman who kept making faces as though her abdomen pains were worse than mine, but because that's how emergency departments are. Long hours, you take the quiet moments whilst you can, and I'm guilty of intiating discussions about beach holidays to fill in time whilst a patient is mounted on a bed and no treatment is taking place and not explaining to them what the delay is, so guilty in extreme), and spotted TMAMAMW and prayed that I wouldn't get him because I knew that I would spend the entire consultation blushing and being too embarrassed to adequately describe my symptoms and causes and needs. Beauty has that effect. Best recent literary example is the character in ABOUT BEAUTY by Zadie Smith, can't remember her name, but the daughter that's a kickass campus networker and achieving undergraduate but who goes all gooey at the knees over the new rap/poet protege in town who's being nice to her to gain acess to the collegiate world.
I would like to point out that this intern must be at least 6 years younger than me, young enough to still have acne, and his eyebrows kind of join in the middle, but on the plus side of beauty, he is tall, has a good haircut and makes good eye contact, and has been seen publicly talking to patients longer than is absolutely necessary, which is always promising. ***And he's exotic, which is in short supply around this mountain town, and is something I crave and notice the absence of post-big city visits. He even noticed that my name wasn't really "Georina", (as is now permanently on my hospital computer record thanks to the robe-wielding male nurse) and offered to hook me up on a drip to rehydrate me after my Christmas excesses. (Had to decline that, one of my colleagues is still trying to live down his "rehydration" experience last April). TMAMAMW was so nice, that despite my acute embarrassment, I revealed where I worked to him in case one day, maybe 2008, we could have a conversation again. Saw him on New Years Eve after midnight but had to stare at my shoes, wasn't ready to talk.
As New Years Eve go, it was quite safe and all. Didn't get carried inside by a taxi driver (1995/96) or have to get my contact lenses removed by a friend (95/96 again) or go to a party that was almost exclusively attended by Old People. Unfortunately was separated from my most familiar and reliable NYE celebrators Greta, Tim, Pete, Meg, birthday girl Lisa and James and of course ANDY. Andy doesn't mind.
***The fact that I have a boyfriend has no preventative effect on my shyness around male beauty, not when my relationship status has technically led to me being at the mercy of the emergency department staff! If it was a lino printing print-off, or a session of sewing, or what we think of Zadie Smith, well I'd be in my element, confident and crowd pleasing!
It is so humiliating wearing a hospital robe as it is, especially since they don't fit, the studs never do up where they're meant to and they droop open as you're walking to the bathroom to do the humiliating urine sample. I now realise that hospital workers spend every day humiliating people and that's why people hate hospitals! Why is it easier for staff to take your pulse, check your heart beat and prod you in the abdomen if you are wearing a spotty robe than your street clothes. Couldn't persuade the male nurse that I didn't need to change. Resolved to be much nicer and give patients more choices in the future, if I think that's what they want. Will not persecute patients who refuse to sit in the "right" chair or forget their appointment cards.
En route to the bathroom I'd spied the room where the interns and doctors gather waiting to be needed (oh yes, and the whole process was incredibly slow, not because there were many other patients at 7:30am on a weekday morning, besides a woman who kept making faces as though her abdomen pains were worse than mine, but because that's how emergency departments are. Long hours, you take the quiet moments whilst you can, and I'm guilty of intiating discussions about beach holidays to fill in time whilst a patient is mounted on a bed and no treatment is taking place and not explaining to them what the delay is, so guilty in extreme), and spotted TMAMAMW and prayed that I wouldn't get him because I knew that I would spend the entire consultation blushing and being too embarrassed to adequately describe my symptoms and causes and needs. Beauty has that effect. Best recent literary example is the character in ABOUT BEAUTY by Zadie Smith, can't remember her name, but the daughter that's a kickass campus networker and achieving undergraduate but who goes all gooey at the knees over the new rap/poet protege in town who's being nice to her to gain acess to the collegiate world.
I would like to point out that this intern must be at least 6 years younger than me, young enough to still have acne, and his eyebrows kind of join in the middle, but on the plus side of beauty, he is tall, has a good haircut and makes good eye contact, and has been seen publicly talking to patients longer than is absolutely necessary, which is always promising. ***And he's exotic, which is in short supply around this mountain town, and is something I crave and notice the absence of post-big city visits. He even noticed that my name wasn't really "Georina", (as is now permanently on my hospital computer record thanks to the robe-wielding male nurse) and offered to hook me up on a drip to rehydrate me after my Christmas excesses. (Had to decline that, one of my colleagues is still trying to live down his "rehydration" experience last April). TMAMAMW was so nice, that despite my acute embarrassment, I revealed where I worked to him in case one day, maybe 2008, we could have a conversation again. Saw him on New Years Eve after midnight but had to stare at my shoes, wasn't ready to talk.
As New Years Eve go, it was quite safe and all. Didn't get carried inside by a taxi driver (1995/96) or have to get my contact lenses removed by a friend (95/96 again) or go to a party that was almost exclusively attended by Old People. Unfortunately was separated from my most familiar and reliable NYE celebrators Greta, Tim, Pete, Meg, birthday girl Lisa and James and of course ANDY. Andy doesn't mind.
***The fact that I have a boyfriend has no preventative effect on my shyness around male beauty, not when my relationship status has technically led to me being at the mercy of the emergency department staff! If it was a lino printing print-off, or a session of sewing, or what we think of Zadie Smith, well I'd be in my element, confident and crowd pleasing!
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