weekend

I am looking forward to moving out of home.  It has been nice for my mother to let me stay and she has supported me big time, but it is also uphill work being around that level of anxiety and whiteknuckled control that she exhibits. 

 Today I felt guilty about skipping my yoga class, but I just wanted to chill out and have some time away. I went to Hype & Seek at Croydon and missed out, by 60 seconds, on purchasing some retro red 50s kitchen chairs (2), which of course would have changed my life. Furnishing the flat is taking a priority at the moment: I really want to be in my own place (after months of being in limbo) and want it to be a comfortable haven. I want rugs and cushions from Better World Arts, secondhand furniture where practical and a great big comfortable couch: preferably purple/blue velvet, but for baby-friendliness, more likely to be chocolate leather. Spending all this money does feel like an allergy: this is a girl who is still trying to source a corporate wardrobe from the op shop. 

 Went out last night with R, she had great knee high boots on which I was totally envious of, and she admired my clothing tones as being just the colour theme she needed for her lounge. I got it. We spent a little while lounging around in the Benjamin Franklin hotel, which is just fabulous: vintage mirrors, black walls, camel velvet sofas, great glass chandelier arrangements, so many details that my eye enjoyed watching. I love it more each time I look at it. My flat will be the opposite. It's all white, hopefully light, possibly cold (which will be nice, at least, in summer). I need a window solution, that allows light to filter in, but maintains privacy and provides some insulation from the main road noise. 

Yesterday I attended a seminar in a city building, that had a wall of windows facing north. The autumn sunshine came into the room, gently filtered in by a geometric render that covered the windows, breaking lights into grid squares. Everyone in the seminar spoke quite earnestly and sincerely about their area of dedication and passion, be it the newbie graduate, the mid career person or the expert facilitator in coloured frames. They talked about what to do with people who are disengaged. I talked about this later with R, told her not to worry about her disengaged youth, because everyone in charge of any program battles the task of engaging their target audience. 

She'd previously been working with homeless people, which I think would be shattering. What do you do when your client knows quite clearly what they want-shelter-and you have to coach them about it not being available? She described people self harming, so they can get a night in hospital, and a recent weather episode, in which Franklin Street bus depot became a temporary shelter for normal parkland residents, who were at risk of branches dropping. I can remember Andy and walking through Rushcutters Bay one evening and being aware of some people settling in for the night. I am so lucky. So that's the paradox-worrying about whitegood prices, when really everything in my life is fine, likely to stay fine and if it temporarily bad, I will cope. Because right now, life is very lucky for me.