Birth part two
Okay, getting a caesarean. I actually wasn't too worried about this, once the epidural had gone successfully, other than getting it done as soon as possible, getting the syntocin turned off as soon as possible and getting reassurance the anaesthetic was working. I was also wondering how long it would be before the baby would be brought out.
Not long-maybe 5 minutes. And then I could hear the most precious sound of him crying and Andy and Wendy (midwife) explaining how big and healthy he looked, all pinked up. The paediatrician was very relaxed as he did the agpar assessment (9, yay), and then he was ready for his parents. Andy held and cuddled him, I felt too short of breath to do immediate skin to skin contact and waited until the stitching was completed and I was in the recovery room. This was still within the hour and I had him resting on my chest, lying there. He was so alert on that first day, big eyes looking up at his parents. Whilst I was being stitched, Andy brought him into my eyesight, reached his hand out so I could make contact with him, whilst I cried happily, so relieved, so happy that finally, after such a long time, we had become parents of a healthy baby boy.
I was on a high all day and the next day too. We had my sister and nephews visit, unfortunately Asher deleted one of his newborn photos (and guiltily avoided apologising for it), but it was lovely to have family there for such a milestone in our lives. Gus had decorated the envelope with a block letter version of LOUIS, which was great to see written for the first time. Ned was great with him too, cuddled him and attended to him whenever he cried, making sure he was reassured.
Over the next 5 days we had visits from Mum & Doc, my Dad, Andy's sister, Dad's sister, Megan & Ali, Chris, Laura & Campbell and Kathy. Visits were good, because staying in the hospital, whilst restful and whilst good access to all the neonatal specialists, started to do my head in. Rotating roster of staff providing contradictory breastfeeding advice, and the sounds of screaming babies and mothers urgently setting off their room alarms. Nurses would be running from room to room, sometimes cranky and impatient with you, and it seemed like the time when you didn't ask for their help was when you should have. Feel much better at home, with home visits from the midwives and phone support from people who have had children already and experienced the same feeding/sleeping issues.
He seems well right now, he sleeps, plays a little and feeds, sometimes lazily, but he is getting what he needs. My Mum has been great, it has actually bonded us closer together and she reminded me how well I am doing, how well he is thriving, how calm he seems, how lucky he is to have two parents who are so committed to him and each other, how that is all he needs in life to flourish. (Though she also wants him to go to Pulteney for his schooling...).
There have been mixed emotions-once the high passed, there were the fears-frustration about working out when he was hungry (which is okay for now), then the fear of losing someone so precious. I said I wished he wasn't an only child, that I could have the laissez faire attitude of my sister with her 3 boys. It is sometimes hard to feel blessed for having him for fear of losing him. We know how lucky we are to finally be parents, and we knew how wretched it feels when you have trouble becoming a parent. We want to feel our joy and not inhibit it, not waste it, appreciate the moments we finally have with him.
He has his first party to attend in two weeks, a combined first birthday party in Bowden which coincides with the opening of a community bicycle path that I think our friends have been involved with. Am looking forward to it. But before that even, is Asher's 4th birthday, he is getting a builder's tool belt which even has some real, albeit smaller sized, tools he can use. His mother approves, here's hoping he can channel his destructive instincts into something safe.
Not long-maybe 5 minutes. And then I could hear the most precious sound of him crying and Andy and Wendy (midwife) explaining how big and healthy he looked, all pinked up. The paediatrician was very relaxed as he did the agpar assessment (9, yay), and then he was ready for his parents. Andy held and cuddled him, I felt too short of breath to do immediate skin to skin contact and waited until the stitching was completed and I was in the recovery room. This was still within the hour and I had him resting on my chest, lying there. He was so alert on that first day, big eyes looking up at his parents. Whilst I was being stitched, Andy brought him into my eyesight, reached his hand out so I could make contact with him, whilst I cried happily, so relieved, so happy that finally, after such a long time, we had become parents of a healthy baby boy.
I was on a high all day and the next day too. We had my sister and nephews visit, unfortunately Asher deleted one of his newborn photos (and guiltily avoided apologising for it), but it was lovely to have family there for such a milestone in our lives. Gus had decorated the envelope with a block letter version of LOUIS, which was great to see written for the first time. Ned was great with him too, cuddled him and attended to him whenever he cried, making sure he was reassured.
Over the next 5 days we had visits from Mum & Doc, my Dad, Andy's sister, Dad's sister, Megan & Ali, Chris, Laura & Campbell and Kathy. Visits were good, because staying in the hospital, whilst restful and whilst good access to all the neonatal specialists, started to do my head in. Rotating roster of staff providing contradictory breastfeeding advice, and the sounds of screaming babies and mothers urgently setting off their room alarms. Nurses would be running from room to room, sometimes cranky and impatient with you, and it seemed like the time when you didn't ask for their help was when you should have. Feel much better at home, with home visits from the midwives and phone support from people who have had children already and experienced the same feeding/sleeping issues.
He seems well right now, he sleeps, plays a little and feeds, sometimes lazily, but he is getting what he needs. My Mum has been great, it has actually bonded us closer together and she reminded me how well I am doing, how well he is thriving, how calm he seems, how lucky he is to have two parents who are so committed to him and each other, how that is all he needs in life to flourish. (Though she also wants him to go to Pulteney for his schooling...).
There have been mixed emotions-once the high passed, there were the fears-frustration about working out when he was hungry (which is okay for now), then the fear of losing someone so precious. I said I wished he wasn't an only child, that I could have the laissez faire attitude of my sister with her 3 boys. It is sometimes hard to feel blessed for having him for fear of losing him. We know how lucky we are to finally be parents, and we knew how wretched it feels when you have trouble becoming a parent. We want to feel our joy and not inhibit it, not waste it, appreciate the moments we finally have with him.
He has his first party to attend in two weeks, a combined first birthday party in Bowden which coincides with the opening of a community bicycle path that I think our friends have been involved with. Am looking forward to it. But before that even, is Asher's 4th birthday, he is getting a builder's tool belt which even has some real, albeit smaller sized, tools he can use. His mother approves, here's hoping he can channel his destructive instincts into something safe.
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