Throwing problems into the imaginary waste basket

Petra has been sharing good advice about problems, and other people's problems, that weigh on your mind, when you actually should try to throw them in the waste basket. I'd let myself be troubled by a visit from Terence, who seemed unhappy. I tried to identify why it mattered, and I think it's because his visits are a litmus test of time passing, time limits, ageing and choices. We'd hosted Greta from San Francisco, and although her visits are less frequent, it was nothing but a pleasure to see her. She is happy, enthused, one of those people who love their job and spend hours of their own time contributing to it because she is so stimulated. Work and home life are blurred, they are shared worlds, she is emersed in the world of technology geekdom and so empowered. I felt as though every minute mattered and that I will be able to think of her and talk of her without feeling any sense of regret or wistfulness; Andy feels the same.

It's bringing out some feelings about handcuffs of adult life, balance between your duty and yourself; I suspect I look at other people, measure the ledger and if it's unbalanced, I judge. But it's generally that slightly selfish people end up with more generous people; ambitious people end up with a homemaker etc. Sometimes I think my husband married me because I am organised and he gets time out, whilst I am caught up carrying around a mental list. On the other hand, he supports me and does try to help me live more in the moment.  For now, I think we are balanced-we have lived the vows of being there in sickness and in health-we have survived adversity and separation and relocation, and I realise how fortunate we are, to know that we are there for each other, not just in the good times.