joie de vivre that ended (the week that was)

 All week I did things for me. Visited the art museum, got a student to review my survey, planned an art session for my co-design workshop, wrote it all up and then, yesterday, 4:30, I looked at my phone and there was a message from my friend, letting me know her partner had died by suicide. Had to tell my son who is friends with their eldest, and prepare telling my youngest who is in a class with their youngest. Thought a lot about what I could say or do differently, and what I missed, and what difference I could have made, and shared it with those I was in conversation with, and trusted. Interestingly Michael shared the most, more about him and his philosophy of life, in fact more about himself than he's shared in the time I've known him. He too had overwhelming grief, and appears to have sorted it out through travellling and visspassana, (doubt I've spelt that correctly) and also lost a 90s era friend, in recent times, first socially, then forever. As he shared, it does teach you about how you manage grief. I don't know, too soon to commentate. but the contrast is there-joie de vivre for me, and end of the road for Ben.