younger guys

 Aeons ago, I was hanging out with my friend Megan, who was taking AGES to buy cigarettes in the 7 day supermarket and I walked in and loudly declared 'hurry up' like I was the grumpy blackboard in Mr Squiggle, before my jaw dropped, and I understood her delay-Mr Adonis was on the checkout counter, and he wouldn't have been a day over 17. Unbelievable. At the time the age gap was definitely 20 years, more for Megan, and we walked away guiltily laughing. 

Age gaps still have taboo, I used to get hung up about a 2-3 year age gap, which seems ridiculous now, but it remains as a double standard of ageism. Men as old as the recently departed Sam Neill (RIP, such a babe), can match up with someone younger than their adult children, because they're a financially solvent silver fox, but if a women matches up with a much younger male, eyebrows are raised. 

There is a not great film I watched recently, featuring Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd, both did their best with uneven material. The premise: he's in his twenties. she's a mother in her forties. Most women are not in the league of MP's beauty, legendary decades after she made her screen debut; and a number of other women are also considered equals, in the beauty stakes, and partnered with younger men, mostly French/European women. Intriguing. Do any of these films explain it the May to December romance, I know what the female may like, but what is the reward for the younger man?

My significant other had his first significant (and short lived-she ended it) romance with a much older woman, and we've discussed when an age gap is noticeable, which changes for life stages, the extent to which age overshadows other aspects that are more important-values, principles, temperament, artistic interests, creativity, and so on. Reproduction encourages a female to partner with an older male who is more likely to provide for her, whereas the change in society, perhaps would favour her partnering with a younger male who is more likely to be fertile and survive into her older age. Hmmm. 

At work drinks I was adopted by someone I'd never met, who I assumed knew the other person I was talking to, but the other person left, and the stranger stayed. He was much younger, much younger, but also an adult, and mature for his age, which sounds like a cliche, and now I know why! He was working in another area, as a casual, in an entry level job, we'll have nothing to do with each other even if he stays, but he was telling me about his study, his thesis, overheard me discussing New Zealand and long service leave, offered to meet up to share his ideas about travel plans, thanks to all the tips he was receiving from a significant person in his life, currently there, we assuming it was his significant other, but it was his Mum. Bless. I asked if he wanted my email, gave it to him, went and said goodbye to older women than me, who all expressed surprise that I'd never spoken to or knew the guy I was talking to, but seemed pleased we'd made friends. That was sweet, but I felt self conscious, because it was very obvious to me that he was neurodivergent, from his physical body language and movements, which he confirmed voluntarily, he also wore nerd glasses that did nothing to take away from the physical beauty he seemed oblivious too. It's the beauty that probably won't last, I don't think it's Sam Neill duration, he seemed too cerebral for that. Mentally I had to scroll through and monitor myself-am I interested in his conversation, or his youthful energy, and truthfully, it's both. It's the way that I prefer some of the guys in my course, over others, the ones that have the sweetness of youth but the respect for women and older generation. 

Amusingly, he emailed the very next morning, in my inbox by the time I'd eaten my cornflakes, and we've had an exchange that makes me feel as hopeful as Uncle Monty in Withnail and I, but hopefully less misguided. He's definitely someone I'd like to know better, culturally/artistically, the same as work Jess, but I fear the age gap and gender/sexuality thing may get in the way. He sent an email explaining his respect for First Nations culture (he's from NZ), how he wishes he knew more about Australian First Nations culture, to feel connected to the landscape, and went on, to describe how much he likes Hunt for the Wilderpeople, his thoughts about non-genetic families, the role of older women in Maori culture and ended by adding that his interest in and respect for older women, informed his studies in health. Wow. He's even been a fundraiser for the Marilyn swim. He also listens well-all his tips about NZ were related to swimming and extinct volcanoes, which I said I was interested in, and he shared a nice video clip from Marlon Williams when I talked about meeting him and thinking he was lovely/great gig. 

So on that note, I'm off to appreciate the land of the cloud and the possibilities.